Let’s just say… I was not in a good place when I bought this thing.
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander clips and sighing dramatically. Alone.
Then—bam. An ad.
“Your soulmate sketch is waiting.”
Like... sure, okay. Sketch me my way out of this emotional hole, why don’t you?
So, yeah. I bought Eva Bloom’s Soulmate Sketch™, and I made—no exaggeration—every mistake possible. Thought it would be a silly thing. It wasn’t. Then ignored it. Wrong again. Compared it online. Regretted it. Reopened it later. Got emotionally wrecked. Now I’m here, telling you about it because apparently, oversharing on the internet is how I cope.
Let’s talk about what not to do. Please learn from my chaos.
So... I clicked "Buy" with exactly zero expectations. Thought it’d be like those caricature sketches from boardwalks in Jersey—just with less talent and more astrology buzzwords.
But what I got?
Bro.
The face. The detail. It wasn’t hyper-realistic like a photo—but it wasn’t cartoonish either. It had emotion. Soul. Like, why does this feel familiar?? I didn’t have words. Still don’t, fully.
And then came the tarot reading. Three cards. One basically screamed “You’re afraid of intimacy but pretending you’re too busy for love.” Rude but also accurate??
My advice?
Don’t dismiss it like a gag gift. You’ll laugh now, then cry later when it hits.
⚠️ Mistake #2: Skipping the Bonus Stuff (It’s Not “Extra” If It Breaks Your Brain)
Okay, real talk—I saw “Bonus: Astro Compatibility Blueprint” and immediately skipped it. Like, cool, thanks for the PDF I won’t read.
Big mistake.
Weeks later, after a fight with my situationship (don’t ask), I opened it. Line one? “Your chart shows you’re attracted to emotional unavailability because it feels familiar.”
I. Screamed.
Same for the 3-card tarot spread. I didn’t even read it at first. I skimmed. Glazed over. Thought, “Yeah yeah, love energy, let’s go.” No. Go back. Read it. It’s layered.
And the ritual? Okay, yes. Lighting a candle while reading affirmations made me feel slightly like a Hallmark witch—but also... I weirdly slept better that night? Coincidence? Probably. Still worked.
I don’t know what I was hoping for. Like—maybe the sketch would glow and a mysterious stranger would text me “Hey, you dropped this 💘”? Or maybe I’d walk into Target and someone would match the eyes, and boom—credits roll.
But nothing happened. I kept checking dating apps. Looking for someone who looked “like the sketch.” I even asked my barista’s name one morning (he looked kind of like the jawline).
Spoiler: That’s not how this works.
It’s not prophecy. It’s not magic. It’s... direction. Intention. Energy, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Pro tip: Stop chasing. Start watching. You’ll be surprised what shows up when you stop trying to drag it in by force.
📱 Mistake #4: Comparing My Sketch to Everyone Else’s on Reddit (Don’t Be Me)
Don’t do this. Don’t go to Reddit. Don’t start searching for “Eva Bloom Sketch samples” on Google Images and then spiral because yours doesn’t look like theirs.
It’s a trap.
I started thinking mine was too soft. Too mysterious. Other sketches were bolder, sharper. Did mine mean my soulmate was indecisive? Was Eva telling me I’d end up with someone emotionally vague?? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.
I had to shut my laptop and take a walk.
Your sketch is yours. It’s not meant to look like anyone else’s. It’s based on your birth info, your preferences, your energy. Whatever that means, it felt true.
I’m not a full-blown skeptic, but I’m also not lighting incense under a full moon every month. (Okay, once. For fun.)
So when I ordered the Soulmate Sketch, I figured, “Eh, let’s play along.” But low-key, I was already dismissing it in my head.
Guess what? It still got to me.
You don’t have to believe in astrology or tarot or divine sketching powers for this to work. You just need to pay attention. Because whether it’s mystical insight or just highly intuitive pattern recognition—something in this experience makes you see things about yourself you were actively ignoring.
📝 Here's What You Actually Get (Spoiler: More Than You Think)